sixpuns

Six Puns Day Three Hundred Sixty Six: Bovinae

sixpuns — Tue, 21 May 2013 04:05:55 +0000

“Traffic trouble? You don’t have to yak or utter a word at all, this car comes with a horn,” said the fast-talking used car salesman, “you’ll never have to hoof it ever again, so what’s your beef? I really think you should buy, son.”

Six Puns Day Three Hundred Sixty Five: Year

sixpuns — Mon, 20 May 2013 04:05:42 +0000

Ever since I took a leap into writing this pun website, I’ve been in a daze. It’s not that I’m weak or anything (although some of my jokes or bits may have been–and for that I apologize) but it’s you, the readers, who have always kept things on my side real. For you I’d like to give thanks, and you all deserve a round of applause.

Happy 1st Birthday, Sixpuns!

Six Puns Day Three Hundred Sixty Four: Yogurt

sixpuns — Sun, 19 May 2013 04:05:09 +0000

“There was a case in which my client had a truck but lacked tows,” said the defense lawyer. “So he was clearly no way he could have damaged the property. The prosecution tried to milk the fact that he had strained relations with his neighbors, but I think they were just trying to sour his reputation.”

Six Puns Day Three Hundred Sixty Three: Ancient Egypt

sixpuns — Sat, 18 May 2013 04:05:31 +0000

“Nigh all the telescopes were taken, so you’re just going to have to desert your post and peer amid the other students on those high rogue cliffs,” said the astronomy professor, in a dry tone, to Jane. “But I won’t be able to see anything!” protested Jane. “Tut, tut,” responded the professor.

Six Puns Day Three Hundred Sixty Two: Bears

sixpuns — Fri, 17 May 2013 04:05:35 +0000

“Our chances of survival may seem grizzly, and a flag and a pole are all we have left, but we mustn’t worry,” said Pa. “I’m going to make sure that no one buries anyone else. Until we meet our destiny, we can’t afford to cave in.”

Six Puns Day Three Hundred Sixty One: Evolution

sixpuns — Thu, 16 May 2013 04:05:48 +0000

Going to the pool this summer? Don’t drift around, grab your best jeans and as much change as you can and head straight down where they sell swimsuits. Don’t worry about anyone else. Get apparel that’s just right for you–make a natural selection.

Six Puns Day Three Hundred Sixty: French Cuisine

sixpuns — Wed, 15 May 2013 04:05:41 +0000

I hope you don’t meet any angry uncles and cross aunts who missed the van to the pond. Some wanted to go see the moose there, others wanted to guess how to attract water fowl (they’d give it their best duck holler hunch). Other folks wanted to see a mouse at three, and still others wanted to see a rat at two…but they all missed the van, and apparently the sedan too…they were just in time to see that S-car go.

Six Puns Day Three Hundred Fifty Nine: Airports

sixpuns — Tue, 14 May 2013 04:05:00 +0000

“Staying close to the base won’t fly, you’re going to have to run way over to enemy lines,”said the officer to Raimunda, “General Gates is suffering from terminal illness, but he’s going to ramp up defenses there. Just wait until he throws the signal.”

Six Puns Day Three Hundred Fifty Eight: Cell Phones

sixpuns — Mon, 13 May 2013 04:05:29 +0000

“Look out for that rhinoceros, she has been known to charge her enemies,” said the game warden in a hushed tone, “she doesn’t exactly screen her visitors.” “Oh, I was about to drive rings around her,” the driver responded, “and should she attack, this jeep isn’t exactly something in which we could carry her…good call.”

Six Puns Day Three Hundred Fifty Seven: Pluto

sixpuns — Sun, 12 May 2013 04:05:40 +0000

If you don’t want your fundraiser to generate zip, zero, zilch, nada–plan it so that it will dwarf the competition. You may run into minor setbacks, but nix any idea you have about giving up. As long as you’re sharin’ your ideas, you can look forward to new horizons.