“I don’t know how anyone bears the thought of reading the puns you pen,” said a critic to me once, “Unless someone big read them, of course. Within the filmed reactions to this material lie yawns. So you’re going to have to tell me as soon as you get those prints done.”
Six Puns: Before hearts, there was a little bit of poker. And then came bridge (en masse).
“This dentist’s GUI can show us if you have sore gums,” said the hygienist, “but we like to use a more refined software suite to beat sugar.”
Six Puns: Molasses puns? Yes, we cane!
“If you have a cold, I’d be crushed, but it kind of frees you of some responsibility,” said the manager, “but don’t think you’ll be giving us the slip for too long. However, if you have a solid record you should be fine.”
Six Puns: All hail the mighty ice puns!
Posted in Puns, Science
Tagged Ice puns
“Mr. and Mrs. Watt are supposed to join us for dinner, so make sure they’re pumped up about this restaurant.” said Mr. Smith. “It’s a farming-type place, so all the shovels and hoes on the walls should whet their appetite for some rustic cuisine. As for the music there, I’m sure Jay-Z and Nas’ll be enough to keep them entertained.”
Six Puns: The best fire hydrant puns you’ve read…
“We’re going to cream you at the big game,” said the leader of the school’s basketball team, “because you’d be nuts to go after our star players with your crummy defense.” “We’ll see about that,” said Graham, “maybe they’ve been holding back just to egg you guys on.”
Six Puns: Best puns this side of the earth’s crust!
“Why are you feeling every bump in the road?” asked the auto technician. “Its because you’re treating your car like a bike or any other cycle. Replace your shocks with some new ones, since I got them at an outlet store, I won’t even charge you for them.”
Six Puns: I’d like to plug this site to everyone out there…
“Paul ‘n the gang made sure the police sting went fine, especially after the crooks got a buzz,” said the detective, “I could drone on and on about this, but the point is they’ve definitely earned their stripes.”
Six Pun: You can replace the cars that Wilhelm sold, but you can’t replace the car that Otto bought.