Tag Archives: puns

Six Puns Day Three Hundred Ninety Six: Investment Options

“I hope you will take stock in our collective futures, our interests are what bond us together,” said one of the college students. “That’s a fair assessment of the situation,” replied the Professor. “I guess the feeling is mutual.”

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Six Puns Day Three Hundred Ninety Five: Wrenches

Nothing will sink her restaurants or break her bars, she’s got enough establishments in her name to span her entire career. Well, at least that’s what she claimed at the power lunch, it was her turn and she spoke pretty … Continue reading

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Six Puns Day Three Hundred Ninety Four: The Rock Cycle

“I’d like to make a deposit,” said the jazz fusion musician to the bank teller. “You may have misunderstood me about intrusions to my account and the liquid assets therein. I said it meant a lot to me.” “That’s no problem,” … Continue reading

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Six Puns Day Three Hundred Ninety Three: Construction

“You shouldn’t base what you think about our news foundation solely by a column written by our anchor,” said the publicist, “Our reporting will have you beam with pride and it will gain your full support.”

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Six Puns Day Three Hundred Ninety Two: Prose (Nonfiction)

If your mother wants to tell you to take money and another article of wool clothing with you, let her. There’s no reason to go to another address without a dime and looking any less than an epic ram. For … Continue reading

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Six Puns Day Three Hundred Ninety One: Arches

“Don’t scream until you’re hoarse, shoo away your hecklers by using stilted dialogue in your keystone speech,” said Mary, the campaign advisor. “You will gain support that will span all over the board and put you ahead of the curve.”

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Six Puns Day Three Hundred Ninety: Pop Music Genres, Part 2

“That punk will fish for sole and blues using all types of electronic equipment,” said the fisherman. “That type of stuff should be illegal, especially in this country. It’s like he has no other alternative.”

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Six Puns Day Three Hundred Eighty Nine: Pop Music Genres, Part 1

“If you don’t wrap a big band of heavy metal around this swing, it’s going to pop off its hinges, almost without warning,” explained the engineer. “It won’t even rock first.”

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Six Puns Day Three Hundred Eighty Eight: Percussion Instruments

“In order to drum up support for our current president, he needs to be a kind of symbol to the people,” said the adviser. “He has to stick it to the opposition and chime in when necessary: that way he … Continue reading

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Six Puns Day Three Hundred Eighty Seven: Beer

If one hops to the occasion, he or she can make the next competitor pale and seem mild in comparison, even in the most bitter of competitions. So don’t shy away: a little confidence will cure what ails you.

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