Six Puns Day Eight Hundred Fifty Four: Microphones

The guest speaker made a sound argument at the public hearing, and it was something that went well on the record. It was about a discovery in her field that she then explained to the audience (and let the shock mount).

Six Puns: I’ll soon be buying a motorcycle, and testing one, too.

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Six Puns Day Eight Hundred Fifty Three: Squashes

Here’s a gem: if you’re out at the zoo, key knees of rhinoceroses (the knees that don’t work) keep other animals from being gored. It’s that, or they are using their winter horn, something you definitely can’t buy at a plant.

Six Puns: Squash puns? We’re vine with them.

 

 

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Six Puns Day Eight Hundred Fifty Two: Pagers

“It would be a sound decision not to move, because this gun might go off,” said the gangster, “That’s right, I setting a tone for you guys here in the bank, because robberies are something I’ve been doing with plenty of frequency.” The gangster stumbled, then paused. “Hold up,” he said, “I’ve just lost a contact lens.”

Six Puns: Pager puns? Good call.

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Six Puns Day Eight Hundred Fifty One: Mildew

“You know how fun Gus is, he never fits the mold.” said the producer. “Yes, he is a fun guy to have as a host,” said the director,  “but must he always put a damper on the game show?”

Six Puns: Moldy old puns? Eh, it’s what we dew.

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Six Puns Day Eight Hundred Fifty: Pharmacies

“Down by the dock, there are wrecks,” said the captain, “but there should be more tar to fix the ships there–and there’s a device to number what we have there, we’ve gone over the counter–but I’m afraid there is a lot more in store for the crew.”

Six Puns: Who’s going to take care of this wheat? Well, there’s Farmer A, Farmer B, Farmer C…

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Six Puns Day Eight Hundred Forty Nine: The Ivy League

“I don’t know how anyone bears the thought of reading the puns you pen,” said a critic to me once, “Unless someone big read them, of course. Within the filmed reactions to this material lie yawns. So you’re going to have to tell me as soon as you get those prints done.”

Six Puns: Before hearts, there was a little bit of poker. And then came bridge (en masse).

 

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Six Puns Day Eight Hundred Forty Eight: Molasses

“This dentist’s GUI can show us if you have sore gums,” said the hygienist, “but we like to use a more refined software suite to beat sugar.”

Six Puns: Molasses puns? Yes, we cane!

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