Six Puns Day Three Hundred Sixty Hundred Seventy: Jaguars

“Our contract comes with an important clause: I don’t want anyone reporting anything until they’ve spotted a computer with significant bytes.” said the IT team leader in the computer store. “I pray that someone finds one, though I don’t want anyone to leap to quick conclusions. If someone does, we can finally get air conditioning in the company’s sedan, you know, a pretty cool car.”

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Six Puns Day Three Hundred Sixty Nine: Gardening

What are you doing? Although you’re a nuclear technician, you’re not supposed to be hanging at the plant — unless you really dig it. Today everyone’s gone on a trip to the bakery, to get all the dirt on how to make better breads (they use different flours).

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Six Puns Day Three Hundred Sixty Eight: Pandas

This is something I can’t bear: people thinking in terms of black and white and write pithy reviews of concerts they see in Brooklyn. I think that if something they see doesn’t keep them in captivity, they should be a person who goes directly to BAM, boos the performers, and leaves.

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Six Puns Day Three Hundred Sixty Seven: Reefs

There’s no great barrier between you and your dreams, even when life’s taking a toll on you. At their core, all problems are things you can patch: you can turn the tide and stroll confidently to the bank.

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Six Puns Day Three Hundred Sixty Six: Bovinae

“Traffic trouble? You don’t have to yak or utter a word at all, this car comes with a horn,” said the fast-talking used car salesman, “you’ll never have to hoof it ever again, so what’s your beef? I really think you should buy, son.”

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Six Puns Day Three Hundred Sixty Five: Year

Ever since I took a leap into writing this pun website, I’ve been in a daze. It’s not that I’m weak or anything (although some of my jokes or bits may have been–and for that I apologize) but it’s you, the readers, who have always kept things on my side real. For you I’d like to give thanks, and you all deserve a round of applause.

Happy 1st Birthday, Sixpuns!

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Six Puns Day Three Hundred Sixty Four: Yogurt

“There was a case in which my client had a truck but lacked tows,” said the defense lawyer. “So he was clearly no way he could have damaged the property. The prosecution tried to milk the fact that he had strained relations with his neighbors, but I think they were just trying to sour his reputation.”

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